...take a deep breath, try to calm down your mind... fear and anxiety make everything worse.
Until you find the right resources, please know that we have inner resources: our intuition can guide us moment to moment to find the way. I speak by experience.
Calming yourself is of the essence. You have a long way ahead.
I can only offer you an inspirational memoir (for free, very easy read), intended to bring hope and help you get grounded. It gives many psychological and spiritual insights and techniques.
You can take small steps each day to calm yourself down. Do not panic. When your mind is clear it's easier to feel your intuition and make good decisions.
I've been there, when your life crumbles and you feel alone not knowing which way to go. It is possible to feel better, it is possible for life to get better. Have hope.
I'm glad you reached out. Hang in there.